You rearrange it, you fold it, you punch a dent into it, you give it a quarter turn. Every evening you negotiate with your pillow all over again, and every night the pillow wins. If that sounds familiar, you almost certainly have a height problem: the pillow is too high or too low for the position you sleep in. The good news: you can establish which of the two it is tonight. And after that, there is genuinely something you can do about it.
The short answer
Is your pillow too high or too low? You can tell a pillow is too high by a chin that pushes towards your chest and an upper side of the neck that feels tight; a pillow that is too low by a head that drops towards the mattress and a hand or arm you unconsciously slide under the pillow. You can test this with a folded towel: place it underneath for extra height, and if that feels better, your pillow was too low. The lasting solution is a pillow at the right height for your shoulder width, at SidePillow: 10, 11.5 or 13 cm.
How can you tell a pillow is too high?
With a pillow that is too high, your head is pushed upwards, away from the mattress. Your chin shifts slightly towards your chest as a result, as if you were nodding all night long. The signals: the upper side of your neck feels tight or tired when you wake up, your shoulder does not settle in comfortably but gets pushed away, and in a photo taken from the side your head visibly lies higher than the line of your back.
Many people end up too high by accident because they stack two pillows to compensate for one that is too soft; you can read how that works out in the downsides of too-soft pillows for side sleepers.
How can you tell a pillow is too low?
With a pillow that is too low, the opposite happens: your head drops towards the mattress and your neck bends downwards. The best-known signal requires no measuring at all: you wake up with your hand or forearm under the pillow. That is not an odd habit but self-help; your body is adding centimetres the pillow fails to deliver. Other clues: you fold the pillow double to squeeze some height out of it, or you wedge it into a corner against the headboard.
Note: a pillow can also start out right and end up too low. Soft or worn fillings sag under the weight of your head as the night goes on; you can read why that happens in why a pillow sags.
The towel test: find out where you stand tonight
Want certainty without buying anything? Grab a bath towel. Folded up, it is roughly 1 to 2 cm thick, and that lets you mimic different heights. If you suspect your pillow is too low: place the folded towel under your pillow and sleep on it for a night. If that feels calmer and your hand stays where it belongs tonight, you have your answer. If you suspect it is too high, remove a layer instead (if you are using stacked pillows or a folded blanket) and judge the difference.
The towel test is emphatically a measuring tool, not a solution: a towel shifts around, and a pillow that has gone flat keeps sagging. But after two or three nights of experimenting, you will know exactly in which direction the real solution lies.
The lasting solution: choose the height that suits you
Rearranging, folding and towels are stopgaps. The lasting solution is a pillow whose height matches your build, and that holds that height all night long. For side sleepers, the right height is mainly determined by your shoulder width: that is the space the pillow needs to bridge, no more and no less.
That is why SidePillow comes in three fixed heights: 10 cm, 11.5 cm and 13 cm, matched to your height and shoulder width. The shape-retaining memory foam core does not sag, so ending up too low as the night goes on is not an issue. If you are torn between two heights, choose the lower one; and with the 30-night sleep trial you can take your time checking that choice at home, using the same signals from this article.
Conclusion
A pillow too high or too low? Too high pushes your chin towards your chest and puts tension on the upper part of your neck; too low lets your head drop and sends your hand under the pillow. With the towel test you can establish in a few nights which way things need to go, and after that the solution is not a trick but a choice: the pillow height that suits your shoulders.
So stop negotiating with your pillow. It is not a partner, it is a tool; and a tool should simply be the right size.
Done with folding, punching and rearranging?
Choosing the right SidePillow height once saves you a negotiation every night.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if my pillow is too high or too low?
Too high: your chin pushes towards your chest and the upper side of your neck feels tight. Too low: your head drops towards the mattress and you unconsciously slide a hand or arm under the pillow. A photo from the side, while you are lying on your side, makes it clear in one image.
What can you do if your pillow is too low?
First test with a folded towel under the pillow (an extra 1 to 2 cm). If that feels better, a permanently higher pillow is the solution; choose the height based on your shoulder width rather than putting a second pillow on top.
Is sleeping with your arm under your pillow bad?
It is mainly a signal: your body is adding height the pillow does not provide. With a pillow at the right height, the urge usually disappears by itself, which leaves your arm and shoulder far more relaxed.
Can a pillow become too low during the night?
Yes. Soft and loose fillings slowly sag under the weight of your head, which means a pillow that feels right when you get into bed sits too low by morning. A shape-retaining pillow holds its height all night long.
Photography: Marcus Aurelius, Kampus Production, Miriam Alonso via Pexels.
Do you sleep on your side?
Honest sleep advice for side sleepers, no more than one email a week. Your 5% welcome code appears as soon as you sign up.
